MisRepresenting SF

SO interesting little story for ya. I move from upstate NY into the Northern CA San Francisco area. At first I was all alone, and then 6 months in my roommate graduated and moved out here as well. See I don't see anything wrong with this. We have a 2 bedroom apt with 2 bathrooms, on seperate sides of the apartment. So apparently this makes you Gay here. I am not homophobic but I mean now I don't like being mistaken for something I am not. I thought about doing a few acts that would show I am not gay but all I can think of are the ones that will get me fired.

I have been thinking about carrying a sign or something. My roommate and I came up with a T-Shirt Idea that might solve the problem. This made me start to wonder though, has this happened before? Someone somewhere must have experieneced something similar. I think I can fix this situation I just got to give it time. The problem is how much time? I mean I am thought of as "That Guy" with that guy. The T-Shirt is the best I got and making my roommate's girlfriend call him all the time while at the office. Hopefully they don't just think he is Bi and I am the bitch. That would be unacceptable as well. I don't know what I will do. Hmm I could just start buying lipstick and rubbing it on my clothes before work. However this might start to cause some confusion with the neighbors. Grrrr.

Angered City

So my roommate and I went to the city yesterday and found some interesting people. The first few were just on the train. They were not so much weird as they were all color coordinated, their was a Giants game. There were a few black sheep mixed in there with Oakland jerseys but that didn't seem to be an issue. There was a large amount of alcohol being consumed on the train though. Little did we know this was legal and that it would provide for some great entertainment on our way back.

Usually when you go to SF there are the people on the street who are just asking for money and are creative with their begging antics. Surprizingly these people were not too bad today. It was the "normal" people who were just funny. We started walking up this hill and saw this man pulling out of a garage with his shiney convertable BMW. The strange this is that he was being very indecisive about it. Like he just sat there crossing both lanes. And then traffic started moving up and down the street, with this little Chinese old lady driving her little Torcel up the hill and the bus leading traffic down the hill. The little lady saw the car and slowed down to almost a stop, but managed to tap the man's car, with no more force it seemed than a blade of grass. The man's face was priceless from then on out. No words were fired, but the man's head kept swinging back and forth almost like in the cartoons where should have just exploded. And the woman just sat there smiling. We were just walking and almost crying with laughter.

Our next characters were intoxicated Baseball fans after the game. This was this dude attacking some shopping carts and when he "won" decided he wanted some pizza. He saw a man walking with a pizza box and immediated tried to snatch it from him yelling, "I want the pizza" to which his other intoxicated friend replied, "I think he is gonna eat that, you think we should eat something?", Yeah homes lets go get some food.

Our next entertainer was the train ticket checker on the train ride back. She kept running back and forth from cart to cart mumbling stuff, until it happened. I all of a sudden heard the car door open behind me and someone went flying by me screaming, "You have got to be kidding." This train lady just ran to the boarding door screaming more. "ARE YOU GETTING ON? THEN GET OFF? THEN GO!! GO HOME!!! ARE YOU GETTING ON? ARE YOU GETTING ON?" As she walked throught the next car, she spun around and looked at another passenger and from the way her mouth moved all I could make out was, "WhAT DID YOU Call ME?" and then some random words and then it was quiet. Except me and my roommate and the woman behind me laughing histerically. Oh I always am saying how much fun it is to just aimlessly walk around SF and this prove it.

New York New York

I recently moved from NY to CA. Here I admit there is a lot of things different. Laws, clothes and just the way people are. However there was something I never saw before. See my company employs college grads as engineers and professionals. They also have these high school kids who are game testers. So I am at the cafeteria when I over hear a conversation between "the NY guy" and his set of CA groupie high school girls. They were like all wowed about, what's NY like, Do you get beat up everyday?, Do you know P-Diddy? I thought this was funny enough. What were even funnier were the answers. "Man NY is way different. We dress hella different, I mean take dudes for example. They got the man bag." Now at this point I was like, he must not realize that, that exists here. I mean messenger bags are pretty much common everywhere but no it got better. "You know like the little purses that ladies put their dogs in, dudes be wearin that, its like hella gay man. I won't do that." He then preceeded to walk ever so gracefully in a re-enacting manor with his invisible bag, then said again, "Mad gay son." Keep in mind this kid was wearing full out Kanye West style clothes with the Kangal hat. I was starting to question if this story was of his own personal authentic NY habits. I wanted to say something, and just shoot down the kids self esteem. He was a god in the eyes of his groupies and I was in the position to strike. But I didn't. I imagined a kid committing suicide with the audio from Carrie "They're all gonna laugh at you" swirling around him while he is weeping trying to find a way to end it all. So yeah I just let it go. But he heard me laughing I think when the groupies left when I told my roommate (also from NY) of how in all the years we had lived there, never did we see anything similar. So I got my glory, if you can call it that.

Tv or not Tv

So I started watching TV for the first time in a while. I started watching it again since I tried desperate housewives out on netflix (awesome). So next thing I know I turn on the TV and there is this show, Super Nanny. I was rolling on the floor of the stupidity of these people. It was like a cartoon strip. Basically a guy and girl were bored, got married and were like. "hmmm maybe we should have a baby?" Next thing you know it's BABYMANIA!!!! and then they realize, "Gosh deary me, I don't know a bloody thing about kids." One woman was like I just found out that if I talk to my son, he will talk back. I didn't know he could do this. Then the advice that I thought was AmAzing was the part telling people that if the phones rings while they are with the kids, pick up and tell them you will call them back. I couldn't believe they made a show to tell people such commen sense messages. This got me wondering, what happens when those people's kids grow up? If they are social kids they will probably raise their kids into rebellious troublemakers (bullies on the school playground) And if they grow up shy, they will not realize they have to feed their own kids or do anything to them. It will be like a young geriatric home. Honestly I am all about the play with the kids and if they act up to the point when these parents are, "Out of ideas and I have tried everything, I don't know what to do" I say beat the kids, don't reward them for doing something that they just expect a reward for always. So my lesson was to refrain from watching TV. I think I am going to start an ad campaign because of this event, National Flailing Arms Campaign, beating sense into children across America, one kid at a time.